#sadly I do be booping myself far too often

[somespicycheese]

I have unlocked boop laundering let's gooooo

[dangan-happy]

[PW: Beep boop, I'm stuck in a chicken coop]

(Idk what to tw/cw this as, sadly. I guess self doubt?)

To Kiibo and Kaito;

Hello, this is my first time here, but you guys can call me Fanatic Anon. I just took two tests, and the first one didn't really bother me but the second one did. The second one was a reading test, and I have a lot of trouble reading. It made me feel really bad about myself since it's a normal and easy ability that everybody should have, but I don't. I can read it, but I often can't pick up the information I get from it. I also feel bad about self diagnosing myself with adhd and ocd. I relate to a lot, if not, all the symptoms of adhd and a lot of the symptoms of ocd too. Sometimes I feel like I don't actually have it and I'm just looking for attention, and which I might not have it and I just can't function properly. I also get annoyed really easily, usually when someone says something, for example; someone can like a ship I don't ship, and it's a valid ship, and I'll just get annoyed. I just feel like I'm a bad person because of that and I shouldn't be annoyed so easily especially because it's usually something I don't agree with. Also my friends are really aggressive to me and I always end up recoiling a little in fear, and I know they're just playing, but it still scares me and whenever I tell them to stop they don't listen.

Anyways, that's all for now. Thanks in advance!

- Fanatic Anon

What's up and welcome bro!! I'm your host, Mr. Luminary of the Stars! Man, I swear I'm gonna scare people off this blog, my bad, I hope your day's going well! Fanatic anon huh?! I feel like there's some wordplay somewhere in there. Fanon, fa-non-tic, I don't know. Ok, random bullshit over, time to do my actual job! Damn, two tests at once? That's never fun, good job getting through them though! Yikes, reading. I'm not too great at reading either, don't worry. I know a lot of people make fun of reading ability which isn't cool. A lot of people have reading struggles, and that's ok. It's seriously not something to make fun of. Hey man, don't feel bad. Reading isn't easy for everyone like I said, you can't help it and it's ok. Yeah, I kinda do that with reading too. I usually have to read things two or three times over so the information sticks. From what I've heard, a lot of people do that, so maybe reading stuff multiple times over can help you out. If there's not enough time in the test for that, maybe you can ask for a time extension, there's no shame in that. You seriously can't help your reading struggles, it's not your fault and if your teacher has brain cells, they'll give you a little extra support.

Ok, self diagnosing anything is a slippery slope, but I can totally understand seeing similarities in the diagnosis and your own behavior. I don't think you're looking for attention if you're genuinely struggling. This is probably an obvious answer, but I think the best solution for this is to see if you can get tested for these things for real. If I could diagnose you I would, but like I can't do that, I'm no doctor of the stars. Do stars even need doctors?? Ok, that's a question for another time, so moving on!

Ships are crazy man, that's kind of a given. I'm not even gonna give my opinions on shipping because I'm scared I'll accidentally start something. The point is that it's ok to have your own opinion and get annoyed, you can't help how you feel. However, there's a difference between feeling your feelings and forcing those feelings on someone else. You don't have to like every ship, but you also don't have to force your opinions on everyone else. It's a lesson lots of people in the shipping community need to learn, and in my opinion you're doing pretty damn awesome bro! As long as you're keeping any annoyance to yourself and keeping things civil in public, everything seems a-ok to me.

Ok, as a friend who often takes things too far, I'm gonna assume that your friends don't mean any harm, but your feelings are one hundred percent valid. If you've told them to stop and they haven't you gotta sit down with them and have a serious talk. If these people are really your friends, they'll realize you're serious and make an effort to change things. You're not being selfish or unreasonable or anything, you have a right to be comfortable in your interactions. So advocate for your needs! Alright, I think I covered it all. You're welcome man! I'm glad you came to the blog! I know you already said you're going by fanatic anon, but I keep reading it as fantastic anon because you seem like a cool person. Ok, yeah that was really cheesy, but I'm going with it! You got this, ok? Reading, ships, friends, you can handle it all. Now get out there and be fantastic!!

----------

Greetings Fanatic Anon, it's rather nice to meet you! That aside, I would first like to congratulate you on getting past your examinations for the day. It's never easy having to get through one test, let alone two, so I'm proud of you for at least getting those finished, even if reading isn't your best subject.

Speaking of which, I should probably move onto that subject now. Well, it is completely natural for everyone to have their own strengths and weaknesses, and yours just so happens to be reading. Despite it being something that may be tedious for some, it's a challenge for you, and that's completely okay.

You may want some extra practice or even some extra time as Kaito suggested to help you succeed at the subject, and I wish to tell you that it is completely fine to ask for those things. You need to do what's best for you, and as long as you try your best, l believe that you'll be alright. Do what is best for you to succeed.

Though, there's something else that Kaito stated that I would want to expand upon further. Yes, I am mentioning the self-diagnosing. Listen, while it's amazing that you found something that describes your struggles well, it's also not best to jump to conclusions. It's probably best that you get a professional's opinion on this. At least with that, you can get more of the help you need in your everyday life, and also have some more confirmation.

I'm not saying it's wrong to relate to the symptoms nor that you're attention-seeking by any means, especially when you really do struggle, but rather that it's best that you put an actual label on it. Does that make any sense? At least, hopefully it does. I'll move onto the next subject now.

Onto the irritation, I wouldn't say that you're a bad person either for being irritated sometimes, or losing your cool at all. Of course, you can't be rude about your opinions, but that does not mean you can't feel annoyance by any means. You can't exactly control your emotions all the time, after all.

Though, I would like to agree with Kaito one last time. If you haven't already, try and be more firm with your friends. More likely than not, they're just messing around, and hopefully they'll eventually realize that you're being serious about their remarks. It could take a while for them to stop, due to habits, but they'll at least make the effort in to do so.

Anyways, I actually had a bit of fun answering this ask Fanatic Anon. Thank you for sending this in, and I really hope that Kaito and I were able to help somehow. I wish you the best in the future, whatever it may hold. Farewell.

[dailydianakko]

Ink Slinger- I just really need my textbook

Yes the title is a shameless rip from the song (highly reccomend y’all give it a listen) Anyway first chapter of the bookstore au! Next chapter is never. I hope you all enjoy it, it’s my longest work thus far! I wanted to challenge myself, and I think I succeded. A big thank you to all my beta readers who put up with my awful tangled words! Anyway, here is the first chapter. Also on AO3 Here.

Akko gasped as her feet hit the hard concrete of the sidewalk. The crisp air invaded her lungs with each gasping breath, making her throat feel raw and her nose run. Waking up late once again had sent her into a wild crunch for time. She had planned to stop by the bookstore Lotte had recommended she go to before class. The quiet girl had told her that it was really well stocked for a private store, and Lotte frequented enough bookstores to know what was good and what wasn’t. Her expertise was the sole reason to warrant Akko even making a trip like this. Her friend was practically a walking yelp review to most any store in the county, much less state. Lotte’s frequent searches for sold out Nightfall books had only added to her knowledge, and Akko would be forever grateful. After all, Lotte shared the spirit of hope that often accompanied the search for rare or out of stock books.

Akko was still stubbornly clinging to the hope that she might find one of the missing books in her Shiny Chariot collection. That or a replacement “Introduction to English Literature” book that had sadly bitten the dust earlier in the week. The freak coffee incident had really left its mark, both on Akko’s skin and on everyone in the shared school dorm room. Sucy still hadn’t managed to get the coffee stains out of her lab coat and Akko really hoped that she wouldn’t try to get revenge later. She really had no desire to be woken up at four in the morning with another chemical concoction being poured down her throat. Akko gave a hard swallow to try to erase that particular memory. To be honest, Sucy never really needed a reason to use Akko as a resident guinea pig; but Akko didn’t like Sucy having an excuse. Sucy was a master manipulator, and she had no qualms about using guilt to motivate Akko into being a willing participant. Maybe she should just skip town and change her name. Assume a new identity and hope Sucy wouldn’t find her. 

Akko slowed down to a jog as she started to weave around other pedestrians that were filling the streets. It was getting rather crowded now due to the impending lunch hour. Lucky her.

She began to check road signs. Lotte said it would be in this area. Keeping her quick pace, Akko began to scan the nearby buildings for the bookstore she wanted to visit before class. She needed a replacement book today or her professor was seriously going to have her head!

Akko skidded to a halt as she caught sight of the lavender building that had the sign “Quill and Crow” hanging above the entrance; with the emblem of a white crow behind the cursive lettering. The store looked like an old Victorian building, matching the rest of the old era stores on the street. Like many of the cafes and stores of the small town of Blytonbury, it had been a reconverted house with its own quirks and renovations to distinguish it from the others. 

Akko quickly crossed the street after checking and making sure it was devoid of cars. Getting hit now would definitely make her late for class. Stepping up onto the cracked sidewalk, she looked once more at the building. Particularly the porch. There were weathered wicker chairs that had small tables next to them, each with a potted plant. The flowers clearly had been tended with loving care and were blooming beautifully. The seating was scattered in various areas along the white wood of the decking. The seating was far apart enough to be comfortable, giving off the air that one could happily read while in the company of others and avoid the uncomfortable feeling of overcrowding.

It would’ve been nice to sit among the gerbera daisies and catch her breath, but Akko had things to do and a class she could not afford to be late for. She quickly hopped up the creaky steps and passed the chairs. She was proud to say that she only paused a second, glancing at the tempting chairs and the comfort and resting potential that they provided, before turning the brass handle of the door and stepping into the building.

Her first impression was that it was quite clean. The dark floor showed no sign of dust nor dirt and was free of scratches and scuff marks. If Akko didn’t know any better, she would have thought the cream walls had been freshly painted. The missing wet sheen told her that yes, it would be safe to fall into should she lose her balance. Either this store was brand new, which she doubted, or it was very well kept.

The floor plan of the building was fairly open, and had various helpful signs in flowing script directing her where to go. She walked up to a nearby chalkboard sign, stepping around a full umbrella stand, with its own little handwritten sign that said “take but return.” Akko read the board quietly to herself. The first floor was non-fiction, café/gift shop area, and educational books, whereas the second floor was fiction, a sitting area, and a book exchange shelf. Akko knew the first floor was where she should stay, but her adventurous nature made her want to explore the second floor. Perhaps she’d find the Shiny Chariot book in the exchange section. Also, the farther away from coffee she was, the better it was for her. The incident was still all too fresh in her mind.

Akko wandered through the shelves until she found the stairway to the second floor. She slid her hand along the rich dark wood of the thick banister. It was smooth and cool to the touch. She climbed up the slightly creaky steps hesitantly. The store was quiet and she had yet to encounter any workers, maybe it was closed. As she got closer to the second floor, the tantalizing smell of old books hiding among new ones greeted her. She took in a deep breath and let out a happy sigh. Akko always loved the smell of books, be it old or new. She allowed the smell to enchant her and forgot about her worries. Akko stepped lightly through the shelves, there seemed to be no concrete sitting area, save for a large table with comfortable looking chairs suited to gatherings. It seemed the owners had opted for having various spots to sit hidden among the bookcases instead, much to Akko’s approval. As her eyes traced the spines of the books, reading various new titles, her attention was grabbed by the book exchange area. Just what she was looking for! The sign indicating the exchange area was written in the same script as all the other ones that littered the first floor of the store. Underneath the words book exchange was the apparent rules to this area of the store. “Take a book, leave a book,” Akko read aloud slowly “Books that are unexchanged are 50 cents per book. Area is sponsored by Croix Merides, Dean of the Robotics Branch of Luna Nova.”

The books on this particular shelf looked to be old and heavily used. Spines of the paperbacks were bent and the paper was fraying with heavy use. Not only did these books contain tales printed in ink along the pages, but it looked as if they held stories of the lives of the countless people who had read them.  As Akko skimmed the shelf, one particular book stood out to her. She picked up the random title and glanced down at the cover. A dragon, regal and ancient, was illustrated; with the title in gilt lettering above it. “The Tales of Fafnir.” How interesting. She ran her fingers along the dog-eared pages and flipped through it. Some pages were marked with crayon scribbles, and an old library card codex was still lodged on the inner cover. It proudly displayed the names of those who had previously checked out the once library book. Akko felt her excitement bubble within her, and gently stomped her feet excitedly on the floor. She knew she was going to find a treasure here. Perhaps she’d find the missing book in her collection. “Shiny Chariot and the Tree of Life” had been quite elusive. No bookstores carried the titles after the author’s fall from grace, and whatever books that floated around ebay always exceeded the price range of a college student.

 A small beep and a bump against her shoes drew Akko out of her excited thoughts. A little Roomba buzzed against her, stubbornly trying to finish its job. A little medallion signified that it belonged to the store and that its name was Jasper. Akko lifted up her foot and watched the Roomba go along its merry way. Gripped by yet more curiosity, Akko put back the book she held in her hands and followed Jasper as it rolled along, making an occasional boop. She stopped in her tracks when Jasper rolled up to a blonde organizing the shelves. The little robot tapped gently against the blonde’s ankle and she bent down to give it a pat. It let out a contented beep and then the mystery girl gently pushed it on its merry way with a tap of her ankle. Akko swore her heart melted at the action. The girl was so cute, treating Jasper like an errant cat. Akko must have let out a small coo, because the blonde turned towards her with a start. The look of surprise quickly fled from her face as the girl adopted more of a schooled and closed off look. “May I help you?” the girl said with a touch of frost in her voice. Akko could’ve sworn that the temperature in the room went down a few degrees. Maybe this was why the bookstore was empty. As much as Akko wanted to bite back, she figured the girl was probably embarrassed and decided she should kill with kindness.

“I am Atsuko, but you can call me Akko,” Akko bounced slightly on her toes with nervousness. “I was wondering if you had any English textbooks. Mostly Introduction to English Literature? I need it for a class.” Akko looked over the blonde once more. Neat jeans, a crisp button up, and immaculate hair. She was really pretty. Meanwhile Akko was in a stained college hoodie, basketball shorts, and her hair was probably a nightmare from her mad dash to the store. She probably wasn’t going to make a good impression. Akko quickly stood to attention as she realized the blonde was talking. She tried to register whatever the blonde was saying after her sudden mental checkout.

“-Diana, the books you should be looking for are on the first floor. Would you like me to escort you?” Diana’s voice sounded less frosty and more professional. Akko gave a quick nod and stepped to the side, making space for Diana to walk by. Diana shelved the book in her hand and moved the crate that had been hiding behind her closer to the shelf so that nobody would trip over it. As she walked by Akko, the brunette picked up a flowery smell, like a meadow covered in the early morning dew. It was nice. Akko began to follow after Diana, much like a puppy. The blonde was moving quickly, and with a purpose. She was fast, but not so fast that Akko would lose sight of her or have a hard time keeping up. Diana must have been experienced in leading people. Diana led her back out of the book exchange area, past the solitary communal desk, and right back to the stairs. She let out a word of warning to Akko when they began to descend to the first floor. Akko walked down the precarious steps much slower than Diana. After all, she had a track record of falling down and she didn't want to crush Diana. Diana waited, arms crossed, as Akko walked down the last few steps. After Akko had her feet safely on the ground, she turned on her heel and resumed her fast walk. Once again guiding Akko to her much needed textbook.

 As they walked down what Akko deemed to be the textbook section, she marveled at the shelves of old college books that stretched on. Criminal Psychology, Introduction to Biology, Business Law, were all lined up. As Akko quickly read some of the spines, she quickly realized some of these textbooks were fairly old. Some of the editions even stretched back to 2007. It probably contributed to their low price. Without Akko noticing, Diana stopped abruptly having reached their destination. Akko stumbled as she tried to avoid hitting Diana. The blonde looked somewhat amused at Akko’s flailing limbs as she tried to regain balance and not fall over.

“Here is our shelf of older textbooks; I must warn you that older editions are usually outdated in information, and can conflict with current tests. Price tags are on the binding, and we do have editions that are loose and in binders that run cheaper in the back.” Diana ran a hand fondly along the shelf, and picked out a book. “This one is a 2016 edition of Introduction to English Literature, it’s the most recent one we have.” Diana quickly flipped through the book seemingly searching for something. Whatever she was looking for she must’ve not found, because she closed it with a jarring snap that made Akko jump slightly. Diana shoved the book into Akko’s direction, and despite herself Akko took the book in her hands. She figured Diana as a store employee would know which book would be the best one. Granted, Akko might regret her decision at the register, but she really needed an Intro to English Lit., lest her professor actually somehow get her expelled.

“Thank you, Diana.” Akko paused and shifted the book in her grip nervously. “Do you have any books by an author named Chariot, as in the Shiny Chariot series?” Akko probably was treading on dangerous territory now. There was a reason why it was so hard to find books written by Chariot du Nord. She had been blacklisted among the writing communities and fans. Chariot had been an innovator for an entire genre, but when it was revealed she had cheated her way to the top, she had fallen from grace very quickly. The Golden Quill, the competition that had given Chariot her  fame, was somewhat of a lottery where a participant was randomly chosen to have their work carefully reviewed by judges. If the author had been lucky enough to get selected, their book would be published and they practically had their pick of editors and publishers. Most of the lucky winners of the event had gone on to obtain prestigious writing awards. A sudden revelation among the judges years later revealed Chariot had hacked the system to delete all other participants, leaving her work as the sole entry. The media tore her reputation to shreds and her fans quickly abandoned her. Chariot had denied cheating, claiming that she had no idea such a thing occurred. However it was too late and the damage was done. Bookstores had slowly stopped carrying her books and publishers had shut their doors. The critically acclaimed series “Shiny Chariot” had been discontinued and forgotten.

Obviously Diana knew of Chariot’s supposed sin, and the shift in her mood after hearing Akko’s question was very noticeable. She had stood up to her full height while Akko spoke, and then had gone still. She was almost a head taller than the brunette. Akko cringed internally when she noticed that the fondness that had lit Diana’s eyes when she had looked at the books was gone. It had been exchanged for a more hostile look. Yup, Akko had totally made a mistake. “Unfortunately, we do not carry any of Chariot du Nord’s books here;” Diana practically spat the name out with tangible dislike and possible hatred “I am sure you are aware why, if you are looking for her books.”

Akko felt a shiver roll up her spine at Diana’s not so subtle anger. “I am allowed to like Chariot. She shouldn’t have been completely erased like that. I want to one day write as well as she did.” Akko said as she felt her hands clench. Just because Chariot might have done wrong, doesn’t mean she should have been completely blacklisted. She might have been innocent like she had claimed. Akko admired Chariot as a child. The author was genuinely good at writing, putting together stories that had filled Akko with wonder. Even if Chariot had cheated, Akko was always filled with nostalgia whenever she picked up one of the books Chariot had written. They were like magic, and Akko wanted to be a witch casting spells with her words and enchanting her readers, just like her idol. Akko inhaled sharply as she saw Diana’s eyes flash in clear anger. Akko should have stayed quiet, and not go around picking fights. Diana probably wouldn’t get physical since it might cost her a job, but she certainly looked like she would throw hands at any given moment.

The tension in the room grew thicker as Akko stared at Diana, waiting for her to speak. The silence stretched on for what seemed like hours, until a little chirp sounded off behind Akko. She gave a small scream that was also echoed by a strangled yelp of fright from Diana. Probably in response to Akko’s yelling. Akko dropped her book as she whirled around to check the source of the noise. Her legs tangled together from the quick turn and she fell to the ground with a thump. She heard Diana let out a quiet scoff, probably at her lack of grace. Akko let out a small groan and looked to see what had startled her and Diana out of their standoff. It was another Roomba. This one had a little nametag of Shark on it, as well as a little cardboard fin taped to its head. Endearing, if it hadn’t scared years off of Akko’s life. Akko watched as it turned around and rolled away. Jerk.

Akko turned her head back to Diana as she felt the blonde walk up to her. Diana crouched down and picked up the book Akko had dropped in fright. She brushed it off and looked it over for damage. The blonde seemed satisfied that the book was okay and looked at Akko. Of course the bookstore employee would care more about a book than a human. Diana offered her hand, and Akko stared at it confused for a second until she reached out and took it. Diana’s hands were warm, a sharp contrast to her cold eyes. “Thanks.” Akko said awkwardly as Diana helped pull her to her feet. Diana let out a grumpy noncommittal hum in response. Akko blinked as she realized Diana was staring at her. Then she realized that she was still holding Diana’s hand.

“You have really nice hands,” Akko’s words tumbled out of her mouth “they’re really soft. Smooth.” Oh no she was babbling. She still hadn't let go of Diana’s hands. Also she was rubbing her thumb over Diana’s hand. Akko’s gay was showing. She felt her face getting redder, and Diana also seemed to have taken on the hue of a strawberry. Akko dropped Diana’s hands like she had touched a hot stove only after the blonde cleared her throat awkwardly. Akko should really relearn her social skills. Trying  to get rid of the horrible awkward feeling that settled in her chest, Akko scrubbed her hands on her shorts. Yep. Her hands were sweaty. Diana probably thought she was a crazy person. A crazy person who started fights over children’s books and held random girl’s hands tenderly for long periods of time. She could never come here again. 

“Let’s get you get checked out, shall we?” Akko blinked as Diana practically shoved the English book into her hands. Diana was checking her out? Akko gaped at Diana until her brain connected the dots. Oh yes, she was buying a book. A book for a class. A class that she was totally going to be late for. Oh dear.

“Diana,” Akko said in a panicked tone, her voice raising a few octaves, “what time is it, exactly?” Akko felt her foot start tapping as her anxiety rose. If the time was what she thought it would be, then she was screwed.

“One-thirty.” Diana responded as she checked her phone. She was avoiding all eye contact, and had once again crossed her arms as if to avoid touching Akko. Akko honestly couldn’t blame her. She was a particular brand of crazy that most people could only take in small doses, and she had definitely overstayed her welcome. Akko began walking to what she assumed would be checkout. “Diana,” Akko liked the way Diana’s name sounded when she said it “I am about to be incredibly late for an English class that I need this book for. I gotta go. Like the ‘I should have left ten minutes ago’, gotta go.”

Diana rolled her eyes and walked by Akko, the smell of a meadow trailing after her. God Akko liked that smell. “Then I suggest you follow me, you were about to head in the wrong direction.” Though Diana was rude, Akko appreciated Diana’s quick pace as they walked through the store. Once more Diana was leading her through the winding shelves with a purpose. It turned out that the register was near the door. It was hidden from view from those walking in by a strategically placed bookshelf. Diana smoothly slid behind the counter and rattled off a number. Probably the book’s price. Akko didn’t quite hear what she said; she was too panicked, and simply threw four ten dollar bills at Diana’s face. She didn’t even bother waiting for her receipt or change. Akko threw herself forwards, sprinting to the door and fumbling with the knob. She didn’t even want to think about what Diana’s face looked like now, watching Akko flail around like an idiot. She managed to get the door open and resumed her mad dash once more, clipping an old lady with her shoulder on the way out. Both stumbled, but managed to recover. Akko ignored the irate calls after her. Gasping heavily, she began her mad sprint up the street and towards the college. If she took a shortcut through the alley and behind the old pizza parlor, Akko figured she could shave off a few minutes of time.

Covered in sweat, completely disheveled and probably wrinkling the pages of her new book, Akko was proud to say that she ended up only two minutes late. She was only scolded by Professor Finnelan for a total of ten minutes. All in all, a successful adventure.

[strugglingyetvibing]

I gotta talk about something because otherwise I’ll send an email to my professor and he won’t care because it wasn’t the point of the lecture

OKAY SO LISTEN UP THIS IS A MILE LONG BUT IF I DON’T SAY SOMETHING I WILL EXPLODE

I’m in a college-level history of film class, and as such we’re going through and watching lots of old movies and reading about the historical contexts for various cinematic movements, right? And for a long time, there wasn’t any sound in movies. We as a whole started making movies in the 1890s and premiered synchronized sound in the film The Jazz Singer in 1927 (it’s a terrible movie, but hey, it had sound!), but sound wasn’t really utilized until the 1930s. So when people went to watch movies prior to the 1930s, they didn’t just sit in silence like a bunch of weirdos. The theaters (often called Nickelodeons because it was a nickel to go watch a movie (the -odeons comes from the Greek word for film)) would employ either a phonograph or a live musician to provide musical accompaniment to the day’s films.

An interesting little tidbit, it’s believed that around 95% of the early silent films have been lost, either due to irresponsible caretaking of the film reels or intentional destruction for various reasons (see: Nosferatu (F.W. Murnau, 1922) and A Trip to the Moon (Georges Méliès, 1902)). So in reality, we’re very lucky to see any of the silent films we do get to see. Along with that, there weren’t many musical scores for these silent films that survived, either. So it’s up to us in today’s modern age to make up for the lost musical score and accompaniment.

This is where I start to get upset.

There are many versions of silent film scores that fit very well with the film and the time period they come from.

My film teacher chose none of these to show the class.

At first, I thought I could take it. Early on, we watched A Trip to the Moon for our recitation, and it was a lovely film! A true classic, and very fun to watch. It was the precursor for the science fiction genre that we all know and love today, which is pretty rad! However, the accompanied score was made in 2010. And the group that made this particular score saw the phrase “science fiction” and took it way too far. There was all sort of electronic beeps and blips and boops to accentuate the scenes of the moon, and it was very out of place. People in 1902 had no context in which to know what these modern sounds were, and it was rather jarring to hear them in this film.

I just sighed and said “fuck it, whatever,” and went along with it because it was in the name of ‘science fiction.’ They’re on the moon, after all!

But this week, my professor took it too far.

This week, we delved into the world of Soviet Montage filmmaking. Basically, this style comes from an art style called Constructivism and was very popular in 1920s Soviet Russia. They thought that the film should serve a purpose, and that the filmmaker was like the engineer putting the film together. The whole movement came out of their trauma of World War I, and it’s a super neat genre. It really focused on the editing of a film rather than individual shots, and something called the Kuleshov Effect came out of the era. The effect strives to show how meaning of a sequence can be drastically changed based on which shots are included and the order that the particular shots are in.

To accompany this discussion, my professor had us watch a film called Man With a Movie Camera (Dziga Vertov, 1929). It’s a really interesting film that doesn’t focus on specific characters, but instead the life of a modern 1920s Soviet city throughout a day. It uses a lot of different shots and editing patterns, and it’s a really great watch if you get the chance!

But the score is just atrocious. This particular version’s score was made in 2003, and it shows. Musically, 2003 was a time when jarring electronic noises were very popular, both in songs and in musical scores. The people who wrote the score for this 1929 film decided to include sounds very obviously from 2003, and it physically hurt to sit through. I did my best to give the score the benefit of the doubt during this film, but I literally had to mute the sound halfway through because it was just so horrible to listen to. This particular score made me so angry that I legitimately couldn’t sleep, and it was the only thing I could think about during recitation.

There are multiple points throughout this film that give musical and thematic cues, and the composers flat out ignore all of them. I understand that the film is rather old and can be hard to comprehend, I don’t fully understand it myself, but if you’re going to be the composer for it, then you better take the time to understand what’s going on. The score takes its own trip throughout the film and disregards the visuals of the film entirely. There’s a sequence in the film where there’s music being played (the viewer can’t hear it because it’s a silent film), and if a composer were to slow the film down, they could figure out what was being played and incorporate it into the score. But no, these composers wrote their own tune and slapped it over the scene, and it takes the viewer completely out of the viewing experience. The score takes the viewer out of the viewing experience throughout the entire film, but it’s very prominent in this particular sequence.

And another thing. If you’re going to write a score for an older film, it would make sense to put the score through a filter that made it sound like it was coming from the older generation. To elaborate, when you hear sound that was recorded in the 1900s, there’s always an auditory static grain around it, and the sound is rarely crisp like we hear recorded sound to be today. There are filters that we can use to make the films we shoot today look ‘vintage,’ and I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s also filters we can put over audio tracks to make them sound ‘vintage.’ Matching the auditory grain of the score with the visual grain of the film should be an integral part of fitting newer scores with older films. Sadly, many composers don’t do that which makes the score, regardless of how well it fits with the film thematically, feel very out of place. However, other filmmakers do achieve this, and it blends the score into the film beautifully and makes for a very engaging experience.

Of course, the composers for Man With a Movie Camera didn’t do this, and just slapped their crisp, modern sounding drums and electronic garbage over the grainy silent film, making the experience abhorrent to sit through.

If the composers for this film had just sat down and really thought about the film they were making this score for, they could have been very successful. In an experimental film like Man With a Movie Camera, it’s not out of the realm of possibility to get experimental with the scoring. However, when you score a film that is 92 years old, you have to take into consideration the context of the time during which the film was created, and compose the score around that context. It doesn’t make sense to put 2003 electronic sounds in a 1929 film because director Dziga Vertov most likely never heard those kinds of sounds in his entire life, or at least when he was making his film. It also doesn’t make sense to put crisp audio tracks into an older film because older film’s audio tracks were grainy and sometimes hard to understand (see: The Jazz Singer (its audio track was very garbled and you couldn’t understand what the characters were saying)). Instead, composers should create their scores to cater to the film and the time during which it was made, instead of what new cool technology we have at our fingers in the 21st century.

To conclude, Man With a Movie Camera is a great visual film that you should definitely watch if you have the moment to spare, but just make sure that you don’t pick the version of it my professor gave to me. You’ll save many brain cells and you’ll have a grand old time too. I apologize for this post being so long, but if I sent this to my professor he either wouldn’t care or would fight me on this because he liked the score and I would like to pass that class without having to fight my professor on why he’s wrong, thank you very much.

[yoonjinkooked]

lockdown | (m) - Chapter 2

moodboard by @flajka

pairing; jungkook/female OC genre; college au, strangers to lovers, smut and tiny bit of fluff too, humor ofc rating; explicit words; 6.209

— synopsis; Eunhee is in trouble and facing a deadline - in comes curly haired jungkook to save her life, make her laugh and maybe, just maybe, fuck her brains out. When the two end up locked in a building overnight, who knows what will happen? 

warnings (for this chapter): cursing, OC still really wants to murder Tae, banter, cute Kook, slightly cocky Kook, an abundance of sexual tension, mentions of sex, drinking, mentiones of an ex (Seokjin)

A/N: I didn’t think I’d finish this this fast. Next chapter will be more challenging but i’m ready for it - i’m not sure if you are. Next chapter will be pure smut. 

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

“So, this folder is basically… Your paparazzi photos?”

I have tried to rationalize it and sure, the guy does have a reason behind it but at the end of the day, he’s just a guy with a camera, taking photos of people who are not aware of it, more often than not.

He shakes his head at my words and chuckles. “You are making it sound a lot creepier than it actually is. I am the official photographer. Whenever a student enrolls our college they need to sign a bunch of papers. It has a clause about campus promotional photos or something like that, which makes this very much legal,” he explains.

“True, very true. Doesn’t make it any less creepy through,” I joke, mentally high-fiving myself when he actually laughs this time around. I needed this comfort prize after my miserable attempt from earlier.

“You know, boss lady, these are the only photos you have,” the stupid hood is covering his face too much for me to see his expression but he sounds… cocky. “I wouldn’t complain about them too much if I were you,” he adds.

“I’m not complaining,” I lift my hands up in surrender. “I’m just saying it like it is. Paparazzi.”

“Art.”

“Whatever floats your boat,” I say, laughing in relief when I realized he did not take me seriously. I was walking a dangerous line between joking with him and genuinely making fun of his profession, which is not something I want to do. The same way I wouldn’t enjoy being called a tabloid internet researcher instead of a journalist-to-be, I doubt he would enjoy being called a paparazzi. I did it in good humor and despite the earlier awkwardness, he was going along with it now.

“On a more serious note, I’m not sure how many of these can be usable,” he points at the monitor. “I hope you will have enough. You can just go through them and select the ones you deem usable.”

“That was supposed to be your job!”

“I’m still here, aren’t I?”

Bless him for turning around. If only for a few seconds, I have a chance to actually see him properly. He is very good looking, that was obvious from the get-go. His facial features are either childlike or very manly. His jaw is as sharp as one of the knives I bought recently and yet his nose looks beyond boop-able. Jeongguk, with a hood covering his face and all, is a ridiculously good looking man.

He’s looking directly at me too and it feels like this is the first time tonight he had done so. It doesn’t last long enough for me to actually feel uncomfortable or alert but my heart went berserk once again.

Calm down, woman. He’s here and he’s hot and it’s not the end of the world.

“Let’s do this then,” I nod towards the monitor.

Jeongguk could not specify how many photos he has to offer but the folder told me it carries 3000 photos. Of course, some of them are far from perfect but with 3000 photos at our disposal, I can only hope we can select 100 or so decent ones, to go with the 24 he brought to me earlier.

Without much commotion, Jeongguk and I start working. He starts his laptop as I transfer all the photos to Hobi’s PC. Then, he transfers them as well and one by one, we go over them. As soon as I find one that I think can be usable, I read out the number, he finds it and goes down to editing. Soon enough, he is unable to keep up with me and I need to write down the numbers as he manipulates the photos to perfection. We work in silence and in about half an hour, we have 10 photos ready to go.

Knowing that my ass is most likely saved, I have a chance to relax and actually pay attention to his work. He truly does have an eye for it, that much is painfully obvious. Guilt takes over me as I realize I have never paid much attention to photography. It’s simply not something I would focus on unless it is closely related to my work. I’ve always known Taehyung and Jeongguk, or as he was known before this, G.C.F guy, were good but this truly is something else.

He has a talent to capture people in that moment, that one moment, when no masks are worn and no fake smiles are shared. Looking at photos of random students, some of whom are vaguely familiar, some of whom are my friends and others I am sure I’ve never even seen before… It’s almost scary how he can capture that one moment with such precision. I could never do that, I just know it.

“What?” Jeongguk’s voice startles me. I look at him in confusion and he points at the photo. “You have been staring at it for like a whole minute. What’s wrong with it?” he asks.

“Nothing,” I shake my head. “It’s perfect. I mean, look at her – she looks tired but genuine. The smile she has is genuine. No matter how little sleep she had the night before, no matter how many tests she had that day, she cracked a genuine smile and you caught it,” I keep my eyes on the girl in the photo. I know her face but her name escapes me – I doubt I’ve ever even talked to her. A complete stranger to me, yet I can imagine her entire story in this photo, this one photo, because Jeongguk was at the right place, at the right time. He is, very literally, capturing perfect little moments.

“Sounds like you understand photography better than you think.”

I turn to him, already expecting my heart to do its thing and sure enough, when I see barely a hint of a smile on his face, the bastard betrays me and starts beating faster.

This is what happens when the only men you communicate with on a daily basis are either teachers or friends whom you could never be attracted to, despite them being ridiculously attractive. It is high time I get laid. Maybe then my heart would stop overreacting.

After this particular moment, I decide it might be better to be quiet. Does that make everything awkward? Sure it does. But it’s pretty darn better than actually giving myself the chance to talk, only to end up blurting out something along the lines of ‘I think you’re hot’. My ‘for work’ spotify playlist is good enough to make the entire situation bearable, as we nod our heads to the rhythm.

On and on we go, until I am suddenly looking at myself.

“Oh.”

It’s a photo of me and Seokjin. I can’t be sure when it was taken, but my short sleeves and the fact we haven’t been together for months now tells me that it was probably at the start of the school year. We are walking hand in hand, both smiling. Jeongguk captured a beautiful, genuine moment.

“Well, you are the ‘it couple’ of our campus,” Jeongguk shrugs.

“Were,” I correct him. “This is obviously an old photo. Seokjin and I are no longer together. Haven’t been for months,” I explain and watch as he nods in understanding.

“That explains the recent lack of photos of the ‘it couple’,” he jokes and I roll my eyes, knowing that unfortunately, he isn’t the first person to give us that title.

Seokjin and I spent two good years together. We were in the same circle of friends. Both focused on our studies and not so much about party life. As a couple, we made sense. But time passes and feelings fade, one thing led to another and suddenly, after two years of being in a solid relationship, I was single. There was no drama, no hard feelings and no bad words. Just two people going their separate ways.

“Keep an eye on Namjoon,” I give him a knowing look. “If he plays his cards right, maybe, just maybe, he has a chance with Hyejin. They could take Seokjin and me any day.”

“Debatable, but I’ll keep that in mind,” he tells me. For reasons unknown to my sanity, I find this incredibly funny and of course, I let out the most embarrassing snort laughter I could have possibly mustered. I don’t even bow my head in shame – that ship had sailed a while ago. “Okay, I’m starving. I’m gonna go and buy us a pizza. While I’m away, you can keep on selecting the photos you want,” he tells me as he flings the backpack onto his back.

“Can you like… promise me you’ll come back and not just run away?” I ask. It’s stupid, I know it is. Even if he is planning to leave me to fend for myself, he obviously isn’t going to say it to my face. Sadly, I am the kind of person who needs reassurance more often than not. I really need it now.

“Of course I won’t run away,” Jeongguk laughs and finally, for the first time tonight, he pulls the hood away from his face. Despite the office’s shitty lighting, I can finally see him well. His face is stunning, absolutely stunning. Clear skin, beautiful round eyes, cutest nose ever, cheeks that puff up when he smiles, like he is doing right now. “Here. I’ll even offer this. Pinky promise,” he lifts his right hand and offers me his extended pinky.

“Shit just got real,” I deadpan and I think I melted a little bit on the inside when he started laughing. “Pinky promise for life,” I link my pinky with his own before remembering an important detail I have overlooked. “What kind of pizza are you getting?”

“Pepperoni with extra cheese, duh,” he says it like that is the most obvious thing in the world.

“I like you more with each passing minute, Jeongguk,” I conclude.

“Right back at you,” he smiles for what feels like the tenth time in the last minute. “I’ll be right back. Get those photos ready so we can fix this shit,” he tells me, let’s go of my pinky and off he goes.

I am left giddy, smiling like a fool and fighting an overwhelming urge to giggle. Tonight is making me feel like a teenager with a dumb crush and strangely enough, I don’t think that I dislike the feeling. I haven’t truly focused on an attractive male since Seokjin and I were in the flirting phase. Jeongguk is… interesting. Very good looking and nice enough to catch my attention. I don’t know more than that but I wouldn’t mind finding out. Or maybe we could end up taking a different direction, with him giving me a decent fuck before we forget all about each other. Would that be a shame or would it be worth it?

For the love of everything Eunhee, focus on your work. There will be time for flirting and fucking later.

“Hey,” Jeongguk startles me when he walks back inside the office.

“There is no way you are Flash.”

“No, the door is locked,” he laughs. “Could you give me your keys?”

“What door?” I frown, confused. He literally just walked through a very much unlocked door.

“This part of the building. The big glass door? Eunhee, why are you looking at me like that?” he asks, but I am already on my feet and running out the office.

“I don’t have a key Jeongguk,” I yell back as I run towards the door. I get to it and I try to open – nope, locked. I try to jiggle it open, which is as stupid as it is useless. The door remains there, unopened, as if it is mocking me, us. I don’t have the strength in me to ride out another wave of panic.

“It’s not the end of the world,” Jeongguk tells me. “We can’t get pizza but we have the vending machine. And by the time we are done, we can call Namjoon or Tae. They’re at Jimin’s party, so they will definitely be awake. They can come and get us out in no time when we are done,” he reassures me.

“Jeongguk, Namjoon doesn’t have this key either,” I sigh in defeat as I turn my back to the door to face him. “And seeing as none of us who work here all the time have the keys, I doubt Taehyung has them either. I suppose we can try to call campus security, maybe they have a spare key but if they don’t, we’re stuck here until the cleaners stop by.”

“When do the cleaners stop by?” he asks.

“Last time I pulled an all-nighter here, they showed up around 6AM,” I tell him before looking at the clock hanging on the wall right behind him. “That means we are stuck here for… seven hours.”

“Not the end of the world,” Jeongguk shrugs casually. “We have a lot of work to do anyways. A pizza would have been nice but we won’t starve in six hours. I say we focus on getting the magazine ready for printing and then just like… nap or something.”

If I wasn’t running low on energy already, I would have taken this situation seriously. If I were my usual self, the campus security guards would already be on their way here to lock us out. But at this point, at with Jeongguk being so casual about it, I no longer have any shits left to give. Besides, as he had pointed out, we have hours of work ahead of us. Chances are we would have been stuck here with or without the door being locked.

And maybe, just maybe, somewhere in the back of my mind is the thought that this might be the only chance I will ever have to spend an extended amount of time with this guy who is making me into a nervous, giddy teenage girl. Not the worst way to spend a few spare hours.

“I agree,” I sigh and force a smile at Jeongguk. “Let’s get back to work and then we’ll figure it out.”

Until 1AM, we are working mostly in silence, listening to music and occasionally chatting about casual things – usually the people in our selected photos, whether we know them or not and how if we do.

“What made you chose photography?” I ask him. I am slowly growing bored, seeing as my work was already done – I am now waiting for him to edit the selected photos. Of course, I’m not just sitting around doing nothing. Hobi’s design still needs to be finished and one by one, I am transferring the done photos as soon as he finishes them. Right now, however, I am waiting for the next one.

“I don’t know, really,” he shrugs, not even bothering to look away from the monitor as he does his editing magic. “I suppose getting a solid camera for my twelfth birthday was a turning point. Back then, I wasn’t so attached to it but I remember my parents insisting that I should be the one to take photos whenever we would travel somewhere. They said my photos always turn out the best. Then as I got older, I discovered work by other photographers. I suppose that was it.

“Are there any photographers in particular that have peaked your interest?” I ask.

“Well, Ansel Adams is an obvious answer,” he chuckles. “It depends on the genre. Testino is the best when it comes to fashion photography but that was never my thing – doesn’t make him any less brilliant. Annie Leibovitz too. I can throw out a few names but I doubt you’d know them – same way I don’t know if I could name a handful of journalists. Adams, Robert Frank and Cartier Bresson would be my favorites.”

“I feel uneducated,” I admit. “I know so little about it.”

“Hey, I just told you I doubt I could be able to name a few journalists,” he chuckles. “We all know the things we are interested in – that is very normal. But what about you? Why this? Why editing, journalism, writing?”

“I wanted to be a novelist for the longest time,” I confess. “Before I could really get into it, I realized that maybe journalism might be my thing. My dad is a journalist. It would be idiotic of me to say that I wasn’t influenced by that in some ways. I saw the good and bad sides of it and decided to go through with it anyways.”

“What are the bad sides?” he asks.

“Well, it depends on what one chooses to focus on. If you are an investigative journalist and dedicate your life to uncovering corruption and crime, it can range from death threats to actually being murdered in cold blood. My dad’s an expert in analytic journalism, which means no death threats but he was away a lot. It was never ideal but it could always be worse.”

“And what about you? Which area do you want to go in?” Jeongguk asks. It’s been such a long time since I’ve seen someone take a genuine interest in my soon-to-be profession. I feel flattered.

“Honestly, I have no idea,” I admit. “Ideally, I’d like to work in investigative journalism but the side effects of it sometimes just seem like too much for me. Not to mention that with how the media is evolving, I’m not sure that would put the bread on my table. By the looks of it, I am bound to end up working as a blogger for a fashion magazine or something like that. Maybe I’ll end up being an editor, if I work hard and have luck on my side.”

“You never know,” Jeongguk tells me. “Hard work will get you places. You seem dedicated and intelligent. Although your music taste is slightly questionable,” he adds. I am about to ask why he would diss my music taste but to my horror, I recognize the song that is playing – I can’t remember the name, don’t know the artist but the singer is singing about how she is horny, horny, horny, horny tonight.

I just close my eyes, trying hard not to laugh when I hear him laughing at my reaction. I struggle to keep a poker face, but I manage. “Let’s just pretend this did not happen.”

“Nah, I will remind you of it whenever I see you in the years to come,” he jokes.

“Whatever, it’s a solid song,” I roll my eyes jokingly, enjoying this kind of teasing. He’s getting more and more comfortable around me and I am enjoying it. The more he talks, the more I realize how funny he really is. “You’ve heard my spotify playlists – you know me better than most people do.”

“True, music can tell you a lot about somebody,” he agrees. “But if I’m being honest here, your playlists only raise more questions.”

“Such as?”

“Well, it went from heavy emotional damage with Lana Del Rey,” he starts counting on his fingers. “We had a callback to teenage emo phase with ‘Fall Out Boy’, took a quick turn with ‘Whitesnake’ and now we ended up with 90s dance music about horniness. The question that is practically jumping out is what the hell you were smoking when you created such a mess of a playlist?” he asks through laughter.

“Shut up,” I jokingly punch him on the shoulder. “I was running on coffee and a lack of sleep.”

“Whatever you say, boss lady,” he grins at me. “You’re weird but likeable.”

Cue the butterflies. I say nothing but I know, I just know, he can see the stupid grin stretching on my face. I am flattered and he knows it. We are inches away to full-blown flirting and honestly, I love it.

 “Done?” he looks over at me, eyebrows raised.

“Done,” I confirm, leaning back in my chair. “Four years of studying this shit only to have to finish my career as the school paper editor literally 30 minutes before the printing deadline.”

“You’re at the finish line, that’s all that matters,” he shrugs, looking like the textbook definition of the word casual as he makes himself more comfortable on the chair, folding and sitting on his legs. “I’m the only one who knows just how nuts you went these last couple of hours and I’ll never tell.”

“No way I trust you,” I roll my eyes. “We’ve met just hours ago – I’m going to need more than just puppy dog eyes to make me believe you?”

“Puppy dog eyes?” he questions but I just shake my head, positive that the blush in my cheeks speaks for itself.

“I just have one more thing to finish,” I mumble as I scroll down to the credits page, finding the photography section. “What’s your full name?”

“Jeon Jeongguk. Why?”

“Because all the photos we have used tonight are yours,” I tell him as I highlight Taehyung’s name and backspace it into oblivion – that’s the price he pays for nearly sabotaging me inadvertently. And also, I am allowed to do that, since none of the photos are actually his. So, I type Jeon Jeongguk, G.C. F.

“You don’t have to do that,” he shakes his head, suddenly switching back to the shy guy he was when he first knocked on the office door. “I’m okay with it remaining the same.”

“I’m not – it’s your work,” I say as I attach the file to the email addressed to our printers, who will probably murder me for doing this last minute. “And done,” I click send.

“Now we nap?” he suggests.

“Or we can just… I don’t know? Talk?” I suggest.

I don’t know how to say that I want to get to know him better, maybe flirt with him and set the foundation for a chance of a good fuck later down the road, without actually saying it.

“We can talk,” he nods and I could swear there’s a hint of a smirk on his face, but it disappears before I can confirm that it’s not just a product of my imagination and wishful thinking.

There is just something about him, something I couldn’t voice, even if I wanted to. A strange kind of appeal, the golden middle between shy and cute on one side and cocky and hot on the other. The changes between the two make my interest in him grow with each passing minute.

It’s been a while since I simply wanted someone to grab me and kiss me, hard.

And I can’t say it like that because so far, he hasn’t given me a single sign that he’d be up for it. That’s exactly why I want to talk. I want to talk and see where this can go and if I have to pull out some liquid courage to make it happen, I will not hesitate.

“You know, Namjoon has an emergency stash,” I smile when I see how he looks up at me in interest. “In normal circumstances, I wouldn’t dare touch it,” I say as I stand up and head for Joon’s desk, eyes on the bottom drawer. I crouch down; jiggle the drawer two times, like he always does. It’s still a little bit stuck but with one solid pull, I manage to open in. A grin grows on my face – there lies an unopened bottle of Absolut Citron – my safety net for tonight. “I don’t think these are normal circumstances,” I add, waving the bottle and giving Jeongguk a suggestive look. “You up for it?”

“Hell yeah.”

Half a mug of vodka later, I find myself laughing at Jeongguk’s fairly stupid story about how Taehyung once almost set fire to the apartment the two of them share.

“That guy is such a hazard,” I laugh.

“Maybe, but he’s also my best friend,” he comments. “You take the risks.”

“Tell me about it,” I snort. “Try being friends with Kim Namjoon. Not a month goes by without me driving him to the hospital because he injured himself in the stupidest way possible.”

“I always thought the two of you were a thing,” Jeongguk tells me, catching me completely by surprise because that’s just about the last think I expected to hear. “I mean, before I realized that Seokjin and you are a thing. Were a thing,” he corrects himself.

“Namjoon is the last person on this planet that would want to have anything other than friendship with me,” I laugh. “It goes both ways but I have a feeling the guy would rather walk barefoot on legos than have a fling or a relationship with me.”

“Why?” he asks. Simple question, complicated answer.

“He knows me too well,” I shrug.

“Oh no,” Jeongguk laughs. “No way I’m gonna let you cop out of that one. The conversation is finally turning interesting.”

“Thanks.”

“That’s not what I meant,” he laughs. “Now elaborate. Why not?”

Is this a can of worms I want to open? Probably not. “How honest do you want me to be?” I ask anyways.

“As honest as vodka can make you at 4AM,” he smiles and for the hundredth time tonight, I have to fight the urge to coo at him.

“Joon always calls me an overachiever,” I sigh before pausing to think about how to explain what’s fundamentally wrong with me as a person. Sadly, that’s not an easy task. “Even as a teenager, I’d always know what I wanted, I would aim for it and I’d get it. Dedicated, hardworking, obsessive – call it whatever. The problem occurs whenever I realize that I can’t have it all. No one can, it’s normal, right? Not for me. I still go for it, I hit the brick wall repeatedly but I make a crack in it, I pull the bricks out and I knock it down enough for me to pass.”

“That’s admirable, not bad,” Jeongguk interrupts me. “I wish I was more like that.”

“No, you don’t,” I chuckle, pausing to chug some vodka down because I am absolutely not drunk enough for this. “The problem starts when other aspects of your life start paying the price. For example, Seokjin. I could never put him before my work. Never, ever.”

“Isn’t that normal?” he asks, looking confused as he changes his position so that he is leaning on the wall. He is also a solid foot closer to me now and I am not complaining. “I don’t know how the two of you have functioned but isn’t it ridiculous to think that one’s romantic partner should be the center of one’s life?” he asks.

“Thank you,” I nod my head. “I tried to justify it like that. I still believe in that, too.”

“Is that why you and Seokjin are no longer together?” he asks.

“That’s even more complicated,” I let out a chuckle. “It just… it ran beyond the expiration date. I can’t explain it without sounding like a bitch because I was with him for two years and he really is an amazing guy but that just… that wasn’t me. He wanted me to invest more in the relationship and while that is completely fair, it’s not what I wanted to do. That is what made me realize that we were heading nowhere. When you don’t want to make the extra effort, that’s alarming.”

“It’s also the way life goes,” he shrugs. I am impressed and envious of how casual he sees the things that were absolutely not casual to me. “If you think about it, every relationship in your life will either end in a break up or with a happily ever after. Literally, every relationship.”

Shit, he’s right. “I never thought about it like that.”

“I have,” he chuckles. “Whenever I realize it’s going nowhere and it’s not my happily ever after, I end it. That’s why I’m single. It’s easier to just… not date anyone than to tell every single person that yeah, that’s not it. Sorry. Thanks for the time,” he adds and I laugh.

“True, that does sound wrong,” I agree. “I’ve been fighting the feeling that Seokjin’s not for me for a long time.”

“Not good enough?”

“More like too good,” I correct him. “He really is a great guy. Kind, smart, funny. He’s genuinely a good guy and I’d sing his praises for hours but it was just too… I guess boring is the word I’m looking for.”

“He’s a boring guy?” he asks. Wow, he is really interested in this.

“Kind of. Don’t get me wrong, I’m hardly the life of the party myself. But it was all just so… proper with him. Movie dates with an obligatory hand over the shoulder, flowers for birthdays, always red roses. Paying for everything, nice restaurants. If we had stayed together, it would go graduation, engagement, marriage, house in the suburbs and two kids – a boy and a girl. It wasn’t boring, not really. But it was just so… proper. Excitement-less. Always blockbusters, never indie movies. Always seats at concerts, never the pit. Dull conversations – about politics and the economy, never about conspiracy theories or the supernatural. The sex,” I suddenly stop, realizing I may have taken my rant too far.

“A bit boring too?” Jeongguk asks, a grimace mixed with compassion taking over his face.

“Yeah,” I nod my head. “Good but… same. All that I mentioned before, it’s fun, it’s nice but after a while you just… want something that will keep you on your toes a little bit. Not a fuckboy or anything like that but just a guy who can actually say something that might surprise me.”

“I like your way of thinking,” he mumbles, looking away from me and keeping his eyes directly in front of him. “You’re not wrong, about anything. And even if you were, on paper, you don’t need to follow the paper – you need to follow yourself. Yeah, many girls want exactly what you’ve just described but you’re not one of those girls and that’s okay. I have a feeling that you are looking at it as a flaw but it’s really not. If something doesn’t make you feel happy or content, it’s absolutely normal to walk away from it.”

“Thanks,” is all I can mumble, knowing that any other words may not be safe. This is not the direction I hoped our conversation would take but I can’t complain – it’s oddly therapeutic.

“You’re so hard to judge,” he chuckles and turns around to offer me a smirk. “I thought I had you all figured out even before we met. Then tonight, I realized I was wrong. And an hour later, I realized I was wrong again. And just now, I have to admit that I am wrong again. You don’t fit in the typical groups.”

“Okay, you gotta elaborate that,” he chuckles as I urge him to explain. “Come on. Elaborate.”

“Overachiever. I thought that too, at first,” he tells me. “A perfect girl, with perfect grades and a perfect boyfriend. Then I get here and see you panicking and hear your playlist and I figure you’re one of those ‘inner turmoil’ kind of girl who thinks the world doesn’t get her and listens to ‘The 1975’ and Banks and hates men and most women too and just wants to be left alone.”

“Hey,” I reach over quite a bit to hit him on the shoulder. “Don’t diss ‘The 1975’.”

“My point is,” he laughs as he rubs his shoulder jokingly. “You’re not one of those groups. You’re not any of the other groups either. You are… a healthy mix of a few of them. I can’t name them all – I don’t know you well enough. I can’t label you either and that’s kind of cool.”

“Okay, give me an unpopular opinion,” I change the topic in the speed of light, realizing that if he refers to me as ‘cool’ I will pull down his pants and give him the suck of his life. While that is something I would very much like to do, I still haven’t received any signs of him sharing the thought.

“Are you really at a concert if you’re not in the pit?” he laughs and I hit him on the shoulder again, this time simply scooting closer to do that and remaining in the same position.

“Yes, you are,” I laugh. “Pit is better but you can still enjoy a concert if you’re seated. Besides, that’s not an unpopular opinion. Give me something controversial.”

“Androids are better than Iphones,” he tells me and I gasp in fake shock.

“Oh no you didn’t,” he laughs at me. “How dare you diss the apple?”

“Your turn,” he nudges me with his arm.

“Flavored drinks suck,” I mumble as I look at my mug of vodka, my precious koala mug being used for such a shitty drink. “I’m not a drinker. I’m very much a lightweight but if I do drink, I want to taste the drink, not artificial aroma and sugar.”

“Not to mention it tricks you into thinking you’re not drinking much,” he adds.

“Next thing you know, you’re standing up and the world is spinning.”

“Eunhee, I hate to break it to you, but the world is spinning,” he tells me. Another hit on the shoulder and I realize that I am about two hits away from being considered extremely violent.

“Shut up. Your turn.”

“Mint chocolate chip ice cream is awesome.”

“YES!” I startle him with a yell. “Yes! Yes! Mint chocolate chip enthusiasts will rule the world.”

“Wow, if we keep this up you will probably start a revolution,” he laughs. “Do you want to continue with the unpopular opinions talk or do something else?”

Well, what I really want is to grind on him until he has tear in his eyes and is begging me to let him cum in his pants. Or for him to bend me over a desk and fuck me until I see stars – both works for me, really, but it’s not exactly something I can say. I don’t have enough vodka in my system.

“I have a shocking one for you – foreplay is better than sex,” I announce.

“Oh, that is an unpopular opinion,” he nods his head, looking pensive. “May I ask why?”

“Because people, and when I say people, I mean men, underestimate the value of it for a woman,” I tell him. “Some enjoy it very much, of course. But in most cases, they just wanna slide it in and get it over with and that’s not how it works for us, at least not for me. I need that kind of… mutual attention. It doesn’t have to be anything crazy or extensive but like… just making out. Just making out is such a fundamental part of foreplay and sex. It’s not that special – just a kiss with the passion amped up. But god, isn’t it important? Nothing beats that moment of lazy kissing, body to body, gentle touches and squeezes and subtle grinds, all while all the words are left unsaid between the two because they are too busy moving their tongues and biting lips and struggling to breathe properly because a good make out needs to leave your breath hitched and mouth open and… a moan stuck in your throat. A good, solid make out session is a preview into what kind of lover you will have and I’ll be damned but sometimes the trailer is more enjoyable than the actual movie, if done well.”

I stop talking with my mouth hanging open. I have no idea where that came from but I do know vodka fueled it. I stop my rant and struggle to think of a sudden change of topic, trying to ignore the slightly wide-eyed look on Jeongguk’s face that my rant had caused.

It sounded more like a political discussion than make out talk. I need to learn when to shut up.

“Yeah, that’s enough of unpopular opinions,” he lets out an awkward chuckle and I know that this is another moment I will regret in the years to come. “Don’t get me wrong, it was fun,” he chuckles when he notices the look on my face. “But I’d much rather make out with you right now.”

Oh. Oh. Okay. That’s… very convenient.

The tiniest of smirks that graced his face evaporates before my eyes and turns into a frown, caused by my initial lack of response – it’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that I wasn’t expecting the suggestion. “If you want to, that is,” he mumbles, turning into a nervous mess, nowhere near the hot, straight-to-the-point guy he was literally seconds ago. “If you don’t, that’s totally fine and we can just talk about music and-“

“I want to,” I interrupt him. “I… really want to,” I emphasize the really, knowing that looking a bit desperate is not only honest, but will also work in my favor.

“Get over here,” he chuckles as he grabs my hand and pulls me towards him.

[mirika]

Another Dutch Comic Con weekend, the Winter edition. I went as Ladybug on Saturday and as Mimi on Sunday.

Adding links etc later!

It was a bit of a sad weekend for me for reasons I prefer not to talk about because it’ll just make me more sad, but despite the events I still had fun and I don’t think I had my friends notice much I wasn’t feeling too good. I am still glad I went and cosplayed despite my mood. I will highlight the happier things!

Day one!

On Saturday I went with my two best friends which is obviously a treat. We wandered a lot at the con shopping and I actually saw a different Miraculous holder other than the usual Chat Noir and Ladybug!

The lighting wasn’t great, but I was happy to see her and we had a little chat. She liked my custom Ladybug look which was very nice, I explained that Ladybug is always someone else over time and they wear different outfits, so it’s not that odd for me to simply be another Ladybug of another era.

She was actually the only one I made a photo with, all the other Ladybug, Chat Noir, Adrien and Marinette.. they were all cosplayers I took photos with before. On Sunday I did see different cosplayers, even someone dressed as Luka, but I wasn’t wearing my Ladybug outfit then. Bummer!

I did get a fair bit of merchandise from the artist alley. Once again... okay, listen. Jonny Cruz, voice actor of Lucio from Overwatch, was visiting Comic Con. My hopes were high: there used to be a lot of Overwatch merchanise, but they rarely sell Lucio. They MUST have got Lucio now, right? Nope. Only new Lucio merchandise I found was a charm. I was a little sad about that, because I know he’s not exactly unpopular. I do very much like the charm though! Merchandise below, Lucio charm is the one bottom left.

When you flip him over he wears the yellow outfit instead of green. 

I also have my millionth Patamon plushie. I was happy to see Digimon merchandise in the first place, but it’s always either Patamon or Agumon. I love Patamon anyway, so I bought it. The fox plushie... was pure impulse. He is extremely soft and foxes are by far my favourite animal. His name tag says his name is Fred, I wanted to name him myself, but I love Fred as well.

Those buttons are actually commissions of my Dungeons & Dragons hobbits halflings!

So button commissions are apparently a thing! And I also made another commission that I’d pick up the next day. These two ladies together were only 14 euros. If you want to know more about my girls just ask me. They are actually family, not siblings though. 

Other than that I found an artist that sold Digimon stickers. She only had a couple, so naturally I bought every single one of them.

If you wonder why some look similar, they are appparently old and new versions. I absolutely love, LOVE how the bottom Agumon turned out. Look at that fireball. Amazing. 

That already sums up Saturday, it was mostly shopping. I saw a Fire Emblem cosplay I really wanted to take a photo with, but after seeing her once, I never found her again. She was dressed as Elise, my favourite female character.

Onto;

Day two!

This day I only went with one of my two best friends. We went a little later than the day before, which is common when a whole weekend is visited. I went as Mimi from Digimon because I knew a Rosemon cosplay would be there, but I never found her. Since she was the sole reason I went as Mimi of course this was a bit of a letdown, especially after seeing all the Miraculous cosplay gathered together. I even saw a few cosplayers I hadn’t seen before. Maybe next time! I did make a photo of myself which I don’t usually do.

It’s not my best pic, but let’s be real, I was walking while I took it and still had my bag on and wasn’t in the best mood. Because it was the only photo I took, I decided to upload it. The mother of the lass who did my commission below actually thought I was wearing a wig cause when I explained I looked different yesterday she referred to probably having had a different haircut too. Not sure if that means my hair looks fake, hah. 

The commission was my goblin from World of Warcraft and I honestly think this is the best part piece I’ve gotten of her yet, and that while it was a Comic Con commission! (I say this because commissions at an event are less flexible, you cannot discuss design choices well)

Does she not look absolutely amazing? She was worth being my most expensive button, and even then I’d say it could’ve been worth more (but I would’ve less likely been able to afford it). Let me show you what else I got on the Sunday.

It’s mostly small stuff:

On the left is a sticker my friend bought me without me noticing it, not really at least. It refers to the Dungeons & Dragons bard and it suits me as in D&D version 3.5 a bard does not get damaging spells until a high level, so I always feel like all I can do is inspire my allies. Inspiring allies is strong, but it feels silly to say every turn “yeah I’m still singing.”

The two dice are d3 dice, meaning they count from 1 to 3. They are often not included in dice sets, and with often I mean always. Some skills do use them though.

The button below my goblin is a commission of my hobbit in Lord of the Rings Online. I found said artist quite late sadly since she had the most affordable ones. I had a hard time explaining what exactly I wanted, so I told her I just wanted her to be smiling.

The last button is of Miraculous Ladybug. Not a commission, just one I found. I liked it cause of the akuma (the butterfly) floating there and her hands being like that. I don’t know. I just liked it.

Other than that my friend and I mostly just finished what she had not seen yet (she left early) and then rested mostly. We visited the Q&A of Jonny Cruz (Lucio from Overwatch) and Boris Hiestand (Sigma from Overwatch). As a Lucio main I was mostly there for Jonny, but it was a fun Q&A altogether. What was also fun was what came after the Q&A: they would play the game against each others and fans from the audience would have to carry them.

Jonny lost all three matches, but I am confident that’s because I think the poor lad does not realise he can heal... erm, let me explain. Lucio has two modes: heal mode and speed mode. Speed mode is actually not used much in combat. What did Jonny do? He left speed mode on fulltime, leaving his team with only one healer instead of two. I lowkey wished I was on stage to tell him he needs to hit Shift to heal, but I purposefully did not participate because I am a below decent player. At least now I know I at least play Lucio better than Lucio himself, haha. Boris was actually quite alright as his character, Sigma!

Some images I took.

It’s a shame I kind-of forgot the contents of the Q&A other than them saying each other’s voice lines in their own character’s voice, them trying to imitate the cowboy character (I always forget his name, needless to say I never play him), Boris actually killed it at that, Jonny not so much, haha. They also got Jonny to say “boop” and of course “can’t stop won’t stop” (which he referred to as his favourite quote at the time) and Boris of course talked about stroopwafels being lekker. He also said he wasn’t overly fond of a fan-favourite quote of Sigma because it opposes his own point of view, but he does understand where the liking comes from. 

I also tried to take a photo during the match, but didn’t realise how silly I was holding my phone.

Both Jonny and Boris had some serious game faces on.

After the event my friend and I went to the Dunkin’ Donuts since we don’t have one in our town, grabbed a batch and left for the train.

All-in-all I had a good event despite events that aren’t mentioned. I really hope to see Rosemon next time though, I really was on the lookout for her. I actually just remembered I saw a group of Once Upon A Time cosplayers as well that I wanted to take a photo with... dang.

--- WDCC 2019 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) / Mimi (Digimon) ACC 2019 - no report, little happened

DCC 2019 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) / Mimi (Digimon) DCC 2018 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) ACC 2018 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) DCC 2018 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) RCC 2018 - Mimi (Digimon) WDCC 2017 - Mimi (Digimon) ACC 2017 - Mimi (Digimon) DCC 2017 - Mimi (Digimon) RCC 2017 - Mimi (Digimon) ACC 2016 - Hook (Once Upon A Time) DCC 2016 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) DCC 2015 - Sunday - Hobbit (Lord of the Rings) DCC 2015 - Saturday - Ellie (The Last of Us)

I have been to Elfia in 2015, but I cannot find this post. I was Donna Noble and I actually had a really bad day, which is why I have never returned to Elfia.

[glitterandmoondustofficial]

Side To Side

Characters: Ruby, Law

Rating: Gen Warnings: Depression Notes: boop

Chapter 161: Find You

Ruby drank her third cup of coffee that day as she worked in her greenhouse. At least it would be hard to run out of things to do while she was in here. She could easily distract herself and not think about how the love of her life doesn’t remember loving her and may never again.

She gripped her mug in her hand to stop herself from throwing it in frustration. A sob bubbled up in her chest and she set the mug down. She heaved and tears welled up in her eyes. She was doing a spectacular job proving to everyone (and herself) that she was an independent adult who could handle herself without her boyfriend.

She let out a soft cry. Who was she kidding? She wanted nothing more than Law to walk through her door and kiss her. All sorts of scenarios played in her head. Anything from them never getting together to them never getting together and Law ending up with someone else. Which was such a stupid thought. She knew the man. She knew that he didn’t want a relationship until they were actually together. So, unless he suddenly changed who he was as a person...

Ruby set her empty mug down and started to care for her flowers. Her hands shook but she worked quickly. The best she could do is stay distracted. She looked up from her flowers to a knock on the door. She stared at it, confused as to why anyone would actually knock, before clearing her throat. She wiped her face and took a deep breath, readying herself for the social interaction she absolutely didn’t want.

“Come in.” She watched the door open and Law come in slowly. She took a deep breath and smiled as naturally as she could for him. “What can I do for you, captain?” He closed the door behind him and stared at her for a long moment. He breathed in with a neutral expression.

“I’m trying to get an idea of everything I’m missing,” he said calmly. “I’ve talked to everyone else, so that leaves you.”

“Ah, then I’ll provide any information I can.” She crossed her arms behind her back and he nodded.

“It’s only a few questions. Shachi, Penguin, and Bepo answered almost everything I needed to know. I’ve been asking everyone else more personal questions.”

“Well, that’s alright. I have no problem with you asking questions like that.”

“Then, I will start with the biggest question I have for you. What happened to your foot? A few people mentioned it and when Penguin was giving me the exam it was one of the “obvious questions” he asked. So it sounds like it was something serious.”

Ruby sighed and looked down to her slippers. It still hurt sometimes, no longer being able to wear the things that struck fear in people’s hearts. “It was cut off.”

Law’s eyes widened. “What? What happened?”

“I saw a spider crawling on the toe on my heel,” she sighed in shame. “And I was fighting someone. When they saw me starting to freak out, they shot me with a sea prism bullet, and while I was trying to recover, they were able to get the jump on me and took off my foot. I was in pain and couldn’t even get half a thought out before they picked me up and threw me off a cliff, breaking my collarbone when I landed.” Law swallowed as sweat rolled down his cheek.

“Where was I? There’s no way I would’ve allowed this to happen had I been fighting with you.”

“You were on the sub. I was sometimes requested for tasks for the military, and you trusted me to take care of myself. You and a small team managed to find me covered in blood and mud, barely alive. It took a few surgeries and being put into a coma for me to finally be stable. Once everything had calmed down, we had a long conversation about my safety and fighting. We both agreed that it wasn’t in my best interest to be on the front lines anymore, so I no longer fight beside you and you told the government that your crew is off limits.” Ruby paused and she noticed that Law looked pale. She frowned sadly at him. He hated when his crew was hurt, and she knew how guilty and responsible he felt when it happened, so he must be feeling more guilt since he couldn’t even remember it. “Thanks to you and Penguin, I’m pretty much back to normal, though. I just don’t wear heels as often or as long, and I have to soak my foot at night.” He nodded stiffly at her and rubbed his temples in stress.

“I can’t believe I allowed that to happen to you. Ruby, if you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask. I’ll do whatever I can to make it easier on you.”

“Of course, I like taking advantage of you.” She smiled when his eyebrows twitched slightly. “Just kidding,” she winked. “Were there any other questions?”

“Yes. Ikkaku said you ran into your brother…”

“Ah yeah, that was...dramatic, but it was resolved and we write each other every so often. He actually sent me a couple care packages when word got around in the military about my foot.”

“I’ve missed a lot,” he sighed and took off his hat, running his fingers through his hair stressfully.

“I know it’s kinda pointless to say, but try not to stress over it. The crew is here to help and make this easier on you. Hopefully, you’ll remember everything in time. Or hey, we might end up running into the person who did this to you and I’ll rough ‘em up a little.”

“Yeah...” he shifted awkwardly.

“Was there anything else you wanted to ask?”

“What you called me yesterday...”

Her smile tightened on her face and her heart started to squeeze. “What about it?”

“What did it mean?”

“Like I said, it’s just a cutesy name I gave you to embarrass you. It works most of the time.” He narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously. He didn’t believe her, and she didn’t blame him. She hasn’t slept and all her energy is going into just staying awake. She couldn’t lie her way out of this when she was barely keeping it together. Ruby sighed and closed her eyes. “It means “my pulse.” It’s a shortened phrase from a chuisle mo croí, which translates to “pulse of my heart.”” Ruby opened her eyes and saw his blank expression. She looked back down at her flowers, the small amount of energy she had being sucked away with the tense silence.

“That explains why everyone has been tiptoeing around talking about you,” he sighed and looked at her with a nervous expression. “How long have we...?”

“A little over a year.” She deflated and he frowned at her, his eyes looking her up and down and sighed.

“That’s...a while,” he commented awkwardly. “I’m sorry that...this happened to you...us.”

“It’s not your fault,” she tried to shrug casually. “And you don’t need to apologize. You definitely don’t need to feel obligated to do anything with me either. I won’t make it awkward and I won’t do anything to make you uncomfortable.” she forced a smile. “Don’t worry you’re free to do whatever or whoever you want,” she said it even though it pained her to do so. Law stared at her before closing his eyes.

“Can you tell me about it?”

“About what?”

“Us.”

“Why?” Law opened his eyes and frowned at her. Ruby looked back down to her flowers, swallowing down the lump in her throat. Perhaps she was just bitter, but she didn’t want to talk to him about their relationship. It wouldn’t bring him back to her. It probably wouldn’t jog his memory. He wasn’t being cruel to her by asking her to talk about it, but she felt nothing but heartache being asked to recall the details of something that she couldn’t bring back.

“I want to know,” he said simply and Ruby snorted.

“Blunt as always,” she grumbled before sighing.“Grab a seat, I’ll answer your questions.” He nodded and grabbed a chair, the look on his face showing her that he was anxious. Ruby sighed again, this wasn’t his fault, and she can’t get upset with him for wanting to know about something as important as their relationship. They were quiet as they nervously stared at each other. Ruby wasn’t quite sure what to say and it seemed that Law was in the same boat as her.

He took a deep breath, “how...when did we…?”

“As I said, a year ago,” she grabbed a chair and sat down. “We had both reached the point where we realized we had mutual feelings, and after a bit of drama, we confessed then slept together.”

“Ah,” he looked away for a moment before looking back at her. “It’s hard to believe that…”

“That we started a relationship?”

“That I said something.”

“Yeah, you are pretty bad at romance and wooing me.”

“ I meant that I’m surprised I convinced myself to actually say something. There are risks and potential negatives that would come in starting a romantic relationship with one of my crew members.”

“I suppose the good outweighed the bad for you. We did keep it quiet for a bit, before the crew found out. We didn’t want it to not work out and have it affect the crew negatively.” She sighed and started to pick at her nails. “You looked relieved when I told you I cared for you. Or my way of saying it, at least.”

“And your way of saying it was?”

“Saying that I wanted to sleep with you.” She smiled when he blushed. “You ended up kissing me and it was far too nice so I...you know, was myself,” she chuckled. “We did that a lot.”

“What?”

“Kiss. You actually made a point to kiss me everyday, because you suck at relationships so that was your way of making it up to me. Not that I’m much better I’ve always been terrible with expressing my emotions, but it worked out for us. We were doing well and we worked well together. We were also casually naked around each other a lot.” Law’s lips twitched and she smirked at him. “That didn’t make you uncomfortable, did it?”

“No. I’m surprised. When I did become so comfortable with things like that?”

““Like that.” You mean intimacy?” She smiled when his blush returned. “Over time. We both took our time and got to know each other in that regard. It’s not like we got to where we are-were overnight. It took tears, support, long nights, and…” Ruby stopped herself with a sigh, the pain from before returning.

“And?” He prompted her.

“Love.” She said quietly and stood up. She walked over to her growing vegetables and started picking at one. She fought back tears as she focused on her plant. She wanted him back. She wanted him to wrap his arms around her and bury his face in the crook of her neck. It terrified her to think that he may never tell he that he loved her again. She cleared her throat, “what else?”

Law was silent before he asked, “you love me?”

“Yes,” she said after a pause. She sighed and looked up at the ceiling.

“I doubt I deserve it.” Ruby snorted and looked at him.

“Don't be silly, you deserve all of our love.” Law looked taken aback before avoiding her gaze, a soft flush on his cheeks. Ruby smiled softly and went back to her vegetables. “Anything else?”

“Were you happy?” Ruby paused and looked over to him.

“What?”

“Did our relationship make you happy?” He looked uncertain and nervous. She remembered that Penguin had said that Law was at the point where he had feelings for her. She couldn’t imagine the confusion and overwhelming emotions he was feeling. She swallowed down the lump in her throat and smiled genuinely.

“Yes.”